Ep 11 Small Joys, Big Impact How to Reclaim Happiness as a Caregiver

Welcome to today’s episode of Caregiver Secrets, where we share practical advice, research, emotional support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones. Hi, my name is Reggie, and I am glad you are here today. I am a fellow caregiver. As I often say, I have been serving my mom for about 10 years after she was diagnosed with dementia. I am her sole caregiver and her only child. As usual, let me remind you that I say that to impress upon you that I personally understand the challenges of caregiving. But before we go any further, it is important to note that this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please seek out a proper professional for any matter you are dealing with. My goal is to inform you as best I can, but you and you alone are totally responsible for doing your own research and taking the appropriate action.
Today, we’re exploring something that can feel almost out of reach for caregivers: the beauty of small moments of joy. I know, when your days are filled with tasks, schedules, and the constant care of a loved-one, it can seem like joy is just a nice idea—something for people with more free time, not for those of us in the trenches of caregiving. But here’s the truth: joy isn’t something we need to chase or add to a to-do list. It’s something we can find in the smallest, most unexpected moments if we’re open to it. Today, I want to encourage you to find these moments, to let them lighten your day, and to let them remind you of the love that brought you here.

In caregiving, joy is different. It’s not the typical happiness we might expect. It’s something that we have to dig a little deeper to uncover, but when we do, it can be life-changing. One of my favorite examples of this is a moment with my mom a few years back. We were standing up at the kitchen counter eating, and I said something funny and at the time she didn’t always get things, but she got that joke and we both laughed. I could see a spark of understanding in her eyes and for that short moment, we were just two people enjoying a laugh. There was no diagnosis, no stress—just that shared joy. It was one of those fleeting, beautiful moments that remind us why we do this and how love and memory can outshine the challenges we face.

These moments of joy don’t need to be big events or perfectly planned. They often come in small, quiet, unexpected packages. They might look like a shared laugh over something silly or just sitting quietly and holding hands, feeling that connection that words can’t express. For me, one of those moments came when my mom developed an unexpected fascination with magazines. She especially liked the magazines or circulars that displayed food items. Watching her be so fascinated with those items, I couldn’t help but laugh. That laughter, in a way, was a form of joy that didn’t change our situation but made it lighter, more bearable. Moments like those are the ones I hold onto because they’re proof that joy can exist even on the toughest days.

One way to invite more of these moments into your life is to be intentional about noticing them. Sometimes we’re so focused on the tasks at hand—getting through the day, managing the routines, ticking things off the checklist—that we miss the little things that make those tasks meaningful. I encourage you to take a minute, even in the middle of the busiest days, to pause and just observe. Look for a smile, listen to a laugh, or savor a quiet moment. These pauses are like little pockets of joy we can collect throughout the day. They don’t need to be dramatic; they’re simple reminders of life’s beauty, even in challenging times.

Gratitude is another powerful way to find joy in caregiving. I know it sounds like a big ask, especially when you’re exhausted and maybe feeling a little lost in it all, but gratitude doesn’t need to be grand. It can be a quiet practice of noticing small things that bring you comfort. For instance, at the end of each day, I try to think of and write down three things I’m thankful for. Some days, it’s something simple, like a warm meal or a kind word from a friend. Other days, it’s the joy of a small success, like when my mom remembers a story from her past or smiles when she sees me. These little reflections help me end the day with a feeling of connection rather than depletion, and they help shift my focus toward the moments of light within the challenges.

Humor, too, is essential. It’s funny how some of the most challenging moments can lead to the best laughs. I remember hearing this story about a caregiver and their mom. Here it is in the caregiver’s own words. One day my mom was convinced that a sock was her phone. She held it up and tried to talk into it, and instead of correcting her, I played along. We both ended up laughing, and in that moment, the tension of the day melted away. Laughter isn’t just a distraction; it’s a release. It allows us to let go of the pressure, even if just for a moment. It reminds us that caregiving, while incredibly hard, can still have moments of lightness and silliness that keep us going.

And then there’s the joy of finding a community. Knowing that you’re not alone in this journey can be incredibly uplifting. Reaching out to others—whether it’s through support groups, online communities, or a few close friends who understand—can be a source of comfort and joy. Sometimes, just sharing a story, a frustration, or a laugh with someone who gets it is enough to remind you that you’re not on an island. There’s a whole community out there, and that connection can fill you with a sense of belonging.

In the end, joy in caregiving is not about ignoring the hard parts. It’s about allowing yourself to experience the full range of emotions, the highs and lows. It’s about finding beauty in the little things, the small victories, and the quiet moments of connection. It’s about knowing that even on the hardest days, there’s something to smile about, something to be grateful for. Remember, you deserve these moments of joy. They’re not indulgent; they’re necessary. They’re what keep you grounded, remind you of the love that fuels your journey, and help you rediscover pieces of yourself that sometimes feel hidden.

As you go about your week, I challenge you to keep an eye out for these moments of joy. They’re there if you look for them, tucked into the small moments of your day. Notice them, savor them, and let them lift you, even if just for a moment. You might find that joy is closer than you think.

Thank you for joining me today on Caregiver Secrets. I hope this episode brought a bit of light to your day and maybe even inspired you to find your own moments of joy. If you found this helpful, please support the podcast by continuing to listen and sharing it with others who might benefit from it. I’d love to hear from you—leave a comment, share your own experiences, or let me know what resonates with you. Until next time, keep looking for the joy, because you deserve every bit of it.

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