Ep 16 Love Over Perfection_ Embracing Grace as a Caregiver

Welcome to today’s episode of Caregiver Secrets, where we share practical advice, research, emotional support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones. Today we are continuing our new series called, Failing Forward: Lessons for Caregivers. This is the fourth installment of our series, and we have covered a lot of ground together. We are now getting more and more adept at handling the failures that come to us as caregivers. We have discovered ways of dealing with failed attempts and even learned how to turn failures into lessons and to be more resilient. I hope you can see growth in yourself as we walk through these episodes together. Anyway, please listen to every episode in this series as we dissect failure and learn how to move forward.
Hi, my name is Reggie and I am glad you are here today. I am a fellow caregiver. As I often say, I have been serving my mom for about 10 years after she was diagnosed with dementia. I am her sole caregiver and her only child. As usual, let me remind you that I say that to impress upon you that I personally understand the challenges of caregiving. But before we go any further, it is important to note that this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please seek out a proper professional for any matter you are dealing with. My goal is to inform you as best I can, but you and you alone are totally responsible for doing your own research and taking the appropriate action.
Let’s get into today’s episode. Today we’re talking about finding grace in the grind.
Caregiving can often feel like a relentless cycle of tasks, responsibilities, and emotions. When you add failure into the mix, it can feel overwhelming. But here’s the truth I want to share with you today: grace can be your most powerful ally. Grace, in this context, is about showing compassion to yourself, accepting your imperfections, and finding moments of beauty even in the midst of chaos.
As caregivers, many of us are naturally hard on ourselves. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, thinking that anything less than perfection means we’re letting our loved ones down. But perfection isn’t the goal. Love is the goal. And love allows room for mistakes, room for humanity, room for grace.
I want to share a story that that teaches the importance of grace. One day, a caregiver completely mismanaged his dad’s morning routine. He was distracted by a phone call, and everything went off track. His dad ended up missing his breakfast, and his blood sugar levels dropped. By the time this caregiver realized, his dad was agitated and shaky, and the caregiver felt terrible. His inner critic immediately started in: How could you let this happen? Why weren’t you paying attention? But then he paused. He looked at his dad, and he saw how forgiving his dad was. He wasn’t holding a grudge; He wasn’t upset with his son. He just needed his son’s help to get back on track. In that moment, the caregiver realized he needed to give himself the same grace his dad was giving him.
Grace allows us to acknowledge that we’re doing the best we can in a challenging situation. It helps us let go of guilt and shame so we can move forward. Without grace, caregiving becomes a burden that weighs us down. With grace, it becomes a journey of love, growth, and connection.
One way to cultivate grace is to practice self-talk that is kind and constructive. Instead of saying, I failed again, try saying, This was a tough moment, but I’m learning. Instead of saying, I’ll never get this right, say, I’m doing my best, and that’s enough. The way we speak to ourselves matters deeply. When we extend grace to ourselves, we build the emotional strength we need to keep going.
Another way to embrace grace is to look for small wins. Not every day will feel like a victory, but every day has moments of goodness if you look for them. Maybe it’s a smile from your loved-one, a moment of peace in the middle of a hectic day, or even just the fact that you got through it. Celebrating these small wins can help you focus on the positive and remind you of the impact you’re making.
Grace also means recognizing that it’s okay to ask for help. If you have been listening to my podcast for a while you will know that I emphasize this often. You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s reaching out to a family member, hiring a professional caregiver, or joining a support group, seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom. It’s part of acknowledging your limits and making choices that benefit both you and your loved-one. Please get as much help as you can.
Finally, grace allows us to see the beauty in the grind. Yes, caregiving is hard. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes thankless. But it’s also deeply meaningful. It’s an act of love that shapes who we are and strengthens our capacity for empathy, patience, and resilience. When we approach our caregiving journey with grace, we can find joy even in the hardest moments.
So if you’re feeling weighed down by the grind of caregiving, take a moment to pause. Breathe. Remind yourself that you are enough, even with your imperfections. Look for the small wins, lean on your support system, and allow grace to guide you. You’re not just surviving this journey; you’re growing through it. And that is something to be proud of.
Thank you for tuning in to Caregiver Secrets. If you found this episode helpful, please continue to listen and share it with others who might need encouragement. Also, I want to hear from you—please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts or share your experiences. Until next time, take care of yourself as you care for your loved one. See you in the next episode of Failing Forward: Lessons for Caregivers.