S3 Ep 12 - When They Wander: The Life-Saving Guide Every Dementia Caregiver Needs

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast! As many of you know, this is the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for those who give their all to care for loved ones. Thank you for listening today. I want you to know that you’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll share the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.

As always, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are totally up to you. With that said, let’s get to work.

I hope this story resonates with you.

John and Mary had been married for forty-two years when Mary was diagnosed with dementia. At first, the changes were subtle—misplaced keys, forgotten appointments—but over time, the disease took more and more of her memory. The woman who once planned their vacations down to the smallest detail could no longer remember what day it was. John, always the steady one, adapted to each new challenge with patience and love. But nothing could have prepared him for the night she wandered away.

It was just past 11 p.m. when John woke up to an empty bed. Panic surged through him as he rushed downstairs, calling her name. The front door was unlocked. His heart pounded. He ran outside, scanning the quiet street, until he saw her in her nightgown, walking barefoot on the sidewalk, staring up at the sky.

“Mary,” he said softly as he approached. “It’s late, sweetheart. Let’s go back inside.”

She looked at him, confused. “I need to go home,” she whispered.

John swallowed the lump in his throat. “You are home.”

She shook her head, frightened now. “No, no, I have to find my house.”

John took a deep breath, remembering the advice he had read about redirection. “Okay,” he said gently. “But it’s chilly out here. How about we go inside, have a cup of tea, and then we can figure out where you need to go?”

That night changed everything. John realized that keeping Mary safe wasn’t just about locking doors; it was about understanding why she felt the need to leave in the first place.

Wandering is one of the most distressing and dangerous aspects of dementia caregiving. It can happen for a variety of reasons—confusion, boredom, restlessness, or even the simple need to follow a routine the brain still remembers. But understanding the why can help us create strategies to reduce the risk.

Research has shown that individuals with dementia may wander because their brain is searching for something familiar—whether it’s a home they lived in years ago or a job they once had. The Alzheimer’s Association states that six in ten people with dementia will wander at some point, and without intervention, it can lead to injury or even death.

So what can we do as caregivers to prevent a crisis before it happens?

First, create a safe home environment. Installing simple modifications like door alarms, childproof locks, or motion sensors can provide an added layer of security. Consider placing signs on doors that say STOP or BATHROOM to help redirect their movement within the house.

Second, embrace technology. There are GPS-enabled shoes, bracelets, and even watches designed for individuals with dementia. If your loved one wanders frequently, investing in a tracking device can be life-saving.

Third, establish a routine. Wandering often happens when someone is restless or searching for something familiar. By maintaining structured daily activities—such as walks in a safe area, engaging tasks, or soothing evening rituals—you reduce their urge to roam.

Fourth, pay attention to triggers. Wandering can be triggered by something as simple as an upcoming mealtime, a sunset, or even an old memory surfacing. John eventually realized that Mary’s wandering was often triggered by the evening hours—classic sundowning behavior. He started using light therapy in their home, closing the curtains earlier, and playing calming music in the late afternoon. These small changes made a big difference in her restlessness.

Fifth, be prepared for emergencies. Even with the best precautions, wandering can still happen. Keep a recent photo of your loved one, their medical information, and a list of places they may try to go. Alert neighbors, local police, and community members about their condition so that if they do get lost, there’s a network ready to help.

Above all, approach wandering with patience and understanding. Fighting against it will only lead to frustration. Instead, ask yourself, What is my loved one searching for? Sometimes, meeting their emotional needs—through touch, reassurance, or a familiar routine—can be just as effective as any physical barrier.

As John learned, caregiving isn’t just about keeping Mary inside; it’s about keeping her feeling safe. And sometimes, the best way to do that is to meet her in her world rather than forcing her to stay in his.

If this episode spoke to you, I encourage you to join our Facebook community at bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Caregiving is a journey best traveled together. And don’t forget, you can grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen, which was written for caregivers just like you. You can find it at bit.ly/GetRisen.

I’d love to hear from you. Have you experienced wandering with your loved one? What strategies have worked for you? Share your story in the comments or email me. And if this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to subscribe and share it with another caregiver who might need it today.

Until next time, remember: You are not alone. You are doing the best you can, and that is enough. Stay strong, stay kind, and take care.