S2 E3 -The Emotional Release Every Caregiver Deserves (And Why It Changes Everything)

Welcome to today’s episode of Caregiver Secrets, where we share practical advice, research, emotional support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones. Hi, my name is Reggie, and I am glad you are here today. I am a fellow caregiver and have been for over 10 years. I say that to let you know that I am right there alongside you on this caregiver journey.

Before we go any further, please note that this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please seek out a proper professional for any matter you are dealing with. My goal is to inform you as best I can, but you and you alone are totally responsible for doing your own research and taking the appropriate action.

Caregivers, as we settle into the profound stillness of this moment, let’s talk about something deeply transformative: giving yourself permission to feel. This isn’t just a platitude; it’s a gateway to liberation, a powerful act of bravery. Too often, we caregivers lock our emotions behind the high walls of duty and expectations, thinking, "I don’t have time to feel this," or worse, "I shouldn’t feel this way." But suppressing emotions is like stuffing dynamite into a box labeled "handle with care"—one day, it’s bound to blow.

When you feel overwhelmed, cry out like the psalmist: “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed” (Psalm 61:2). Here’s why emotional honesty is your secret superpower: Emotions are messengers. They signal what’s unresolved or what needs attention. Grief speaks of love that has lost its anchor; anger reveals a boundary crossed; guilt whispers of values violated or unrealistic expectations you’ve set for yourself. Each feeling carries wisdom, if only we dare to listen.

Take guilt, for instance. Oh, guilt—so familiar, so toxic, yet often so unearned. You feel it when you sit down for a moment’s rest, and it hisses, “You’re being selfish.” But guilt, dear caregiver, is often a liar. The truth is, taking time to recharge is not selfish—it’s survival. It’s the oxygen mask you must put on yourself before assisting others.

Now, about the anger you may feel—the sharp flash of resentment when your loved one doesn’t recognize your sacrifices, or when other family members seem to vanish into the ether. Anger is not a shameful visitor; it’s a signpost saying, “Something here needs justice or clarity.” Let it guide you to problem-solving, to conversations about sharing responsibilities, or to moments where you firmly say, “I need help.”

And let’s not forget joy. Yes, joy! Even in caregiving, joy is not a stranger. Joy blooms in the giggles you share over a forgotten punchline, the sparkle in your loved one’s eyes when they recognize your face, or the quiet satisfaction of tucking them in, knowing today, you did your best. Joy is your divine inheritance; claim it!

But how do you unlock this reservoir of emotion without being swept away by the flood? Start small. Set aside five minutes a day to ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” Say it out loud, write it down, or speak it in prayer. If you don’t know what you feel, that’s okay too. Begin with, “I don’t know,” and let the words come.

As you feel, remember to breathe. Inhale peace; exhale shame. Inhale grace; exhale guilt. Trust the process, knowing that God sees your tears and collects them as precious jewels, each one a testimony of your love and sacrifice (Psalm 56:8). To nurture emotional honesty, I urge you to create a ritual—something that gives you the space to feel. Start a gratitude journal but don’t stop there. Include anger, guilt, and sadness alongside your thanks. Write without censoring yourself. It might feel messy, but that’s the beauty of being human.

Caregivers often believe they must be strong, unshakable, and serene at all times. This belief is isolating. Here’s the truth: strength is not the absence of struggle but the courage to face it honestly. When you allow yourself to feel fully, you unlock deeper reserves of strength. You shift from surviving to thriving.

I want to share something deeply personal. There was a moment, at about the second year in my journey when I felt utterly depleted. I was still new to caregiving, I was alone with no family nearby and I was handling caregiving all alone. I had poured everything into caregiving, but it never felt like enough. Up until that point I was soldiering along and taking every punch caregiving was throwing at me.  One afternoon though, caregiving caught me with an uppercut and I just had to let it out. I rolled up in a ball on my bed and just cried. And when the tears stopped, I felt lighter and strangely determined to move forward. The next day, I approached caregiving with renewed focus. That release wasn’t a failure—it was an important turning point.

If this resonates with you, take this moment to support your own healing journey by inviting others to join us here. Share this podcast with a fellow caregiver, a friend, or a family member. Let’s build a village, a sacred space where we hold each other up, swap wisdom, and remind one another that we are not alone.

Let me leave you with this challenge: every day this week, set aside five minutes to ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Name it without judgment. Hold it like a fragile treasure. Feel it fully and then decide what to do with it. Maybe you let it sit. Maybe you take action. The important thing is that you acknowledge it.

Let’s end with a mantra from Get Risen: “I am giving my best and passing life’s test.” You don’t need to get everything right; you simply need to give your best today. Remember, permission to feel is permission to heal. Together, let’s thrive. Until next time, go gently and feel deeply.