Caregiver Secrets

S3 Ep 1 - The 5-Second Pause That Can Save Your Sanity: A Caregiver’s Secret Weapon

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast! As many of you know, this is the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for those who give their all to care for loved ones. Thank you for listening today. I want you to know that you’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll share the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.
As always, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are totally up to you. With that said, let’s get to work.
Season 3 is here, and this time, we’re focusing on “Mastering the Moments: Practical Strategies for Everyday Caregiving.” If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re hanging by a thread, this season is for you. We’ll explore strategies to help you navigate dementia care with confidence, grace, and resilience. And today, we’re kicking things off with a crucial skill: the power of the pause.
Let me tell you a story that illustrates this important concept. Maria is a devoted daughter caring for her father, George, who has advanced dementia. She never expected to be in this role, but life had other plans. One evening, after a long day of work and errands, she walked into the house to find her father rifling through the trash, looking for his “lost wallet.” It was the third time that week. Frustration bubbled up inside her, and she could feel the words forming in her throat—words she might regret. But then, she remembered something she had read: “Pause. Breathe. Reset.”
Maria closed her eyes for just five seconds and took a deep breath. One… two… three… four… five. Instead of snapping, she walked over, placed a gentle hand on her father’s shoulder, and said, “Dad, let’s check your jacket. Maybe it’s there.”
That one pause changed everything. George’s anxious expression softened. They found the wallet in his pocket, and a meltdown was avoided. More importantly, Maria didn’t end the night feeling guilty for yelling. That’s the power of the pause.
Pausing isn’t just about willpower—it’s about neuroscience. Research from Dr. Daniel Siegel shows that intentional pauses and deep breathing activate the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s center for rational thinking, helping us regulate emotions instead of reacting impulsively. When we take a moment to breathe, we reduce activity in the amygdala—the brain’s fear and stress center—making it easier to stay calm in tough situations.
In fact, Harvard Medical School research shows that deep breathing increases Heart Rate Variability (HRV), which is linked to greater stress resilience and emotional control. Simply put, a well-timed pause doesn’t just feel good—it changes how our body responds to stress.
Here are some simple ways to integrate the pause into your caregiving routine:
4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight.
Box Breathing: Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four.
Mindful Counting: Inhale to the count of five, exhale to the count of five.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and relax different muscle groups while breathing deeply.
Try one of these the next time you feel frustration rising. It might not fix everything, but it will give you space to choose your response rather than react out of exhaustion.
Caregiving is stressful—there’s no way around it. Studies show that 32% of dementia caregivers experience symptoms of depression, and much of this stems from the emotional toll of constant stress. But small moments of self-regulation can make a big difference. Even scripture reminds us of the power of stillness: “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
When we pause, we create space for grace—not just for our loved ones, but for ourselves. We acknowledge that we’re human, that we get tired, that we struggle. And in that pause, we find the strength to continue.
So, the next time your loved one does something frustrating—whether it’s hiding their slippers in the freezer or insisting they just had breakfast at 10 p.m.—try pausing. Take a breath. Count to five. And then respond with the patience and love that brought you on this journey in the first place.
I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever used a pause to shift a tough moment? Share your story in the comments or email me. And if this episode resonated with you, don’t forget to subscribe and share it with another caregiver who might need it today.
And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at bit.ly/Get Risen.
 
Until next time, remember: you are doing an incredible job. Breathe, reset, and keep going. You’ve got this.
Thank you for being here, and welcome to Season 3 of the Caregiver Secrets Podcast!
 

S2 Ep 20 - Season Finale! Celebrating Your Wins & A Sneak Peek at What’s Next

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast, the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for those who give their all to care for loved ones. I'm so glad you're here today. You’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll tackle the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.
Before we dive in, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. With that said, let’s get started.
Today is a special episode because it’s not just the final episode of this week—it’s the final episode of Season 2! I can’t believe how far we’ve come together on this journey, and I want to take some time to reflect on what we’ve learned, celebrate the wins, and get you excited for what’s coming in Season 3, launching Monday, February 3rd.
Let’s start by looking back at this season. We covered some of the most important and difficult aspects of caregiving, from emotional challenges to decision-making strategies. We talked about the unseen weight of caregiving choices, the importance of self-compassion, and the power of practical steps in making wise decisions. You’ve heard my personal experiences caring for my mom, and let me just say, I really want to hear more from you. Please share with me the  challenges you’ve faced or are still facing. This is a community.
One thing I want to say loud and clear is this: You are doing an incredible job. No matter how many doubts creep in, no matter how hard the days get, you are showing up. You are making a difference. And that is something to be celebrated.
If you’ve been following along in our decision-making series, I hope you’ve gained tools that make you feel more confident and less alone when facing tough choices. If there’s anything that really resonated with you, I encourage you to go back and listen again. Caregiving is a journey, and sometimes we need to hear things more than once before they truly sink in.
I also want to take a moment to acknowledge your wins. Whether big or small, every step forward counts. Maybe you finally asked for help, set a boundary, made a tough decision, or simply made it through another day with love and patience. That is a victory.
And now, let’s talk about what’s next! I am so excited to announce Season 3’s theme: "Mastering the Moments: Practical Strategies for Everyday Caregiving."
This season will be all about real-world, actionable strategies that make caregiving smoother, more efficient, and less overwhelming. We’ll cover everything from handling medical appointments and managing daily care routines to navigating dementia behaviors and finding small moments of joy in the middle of the chaos.
If you’ve ever wished for practical solutions to make your caregiving life easier, this season is for you. We’re going to simplify, strategize, and strengthen your caregiving journey, one episode at a time.
If you’ve enjoyed Season 2, I want to ask you a favor. Please like, subscribe, and share this podcast with a fellow caregiver. You never know who might need encouragement and practical help right now. Be sure to check out our past episodes for insights and support on every part of this journey.
And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at bit.ly/GetRisen.
I want to personally thank you for being here, for listening, for learning, and for showing up for yourself and your loved ones. It has been an absolute honor to walk alongside you this season. Season 3 kicks off on Monday, February 3rd, 2025 and I cannot wait to dive into it with you.
Until then, take care of yourself, celebrate your wins, and remember: You’ve got this!
 

S2 Ep 19 - Decision Made! How to Own Your Choice and Adapt with Confidence

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast, the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for those who give their all to care for loved ones. I'm so glad you're here today. You’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll tackle the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.
Before we dive in, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. With that said, let’s get started.
Over the past three episodes, we’ve taken a deep dive into the decision-making process for caregivers. We started by exploring the emotional weight of caregiving decisions, then moved on to laying a strong foundation for making thoughtful choices. Yesterday, we discussed the importance of exploring and testing your options to ensure you’re making the best decision for both your loved one and yourself. Today, in the final episode of our series, we’ll be talking about making and owning your decision with confidence and grace.
The ninth step in this process is to run mental simulations. Now that you’ve gathered all your information and explored different possibilities, take time to picture each option and anticipate how it might play out. Imagine what a day would look like under each scenario. What challenges might arise? What benefits might you experience? When I was deciding whether to care for my mom at home or place her in a facility, I took time to visualize both paths. I imagined the daily routines, the level of care she would receive, and how I would feel in each situation. This helped me anticipate issues before they happened and allowed me to make adjustments before committing to a final choice.
The tenth step is to assess reversibility. Some decisions are easier to change than others, and it’s important to consider how flexible your choice is. If an option doesn’t work out, how difficult will it be to go in a different direction? When I considered placing my mom in memory care, one of my biggest concerns was how challenging it would be to reverse that decision if I realized it wasn’t the best fit. On the other hand, keeping her at home with additional help allowed for more flexibility to adjust as needed. Thinking through this helped me make a choice I felt comfortable with, knowing I had room to adapt if necessary.
The eleventh and final step is to make the decision and own it. Once you’ve done the work, weighed your options, and prepared yourself, trust yourself enough to commit. I know how easy it is to second-guess and wonder if you’re making the right call. But the truth is, no decision is perfect, and you’re making the best choice with the information and resources you have. After I decided to care for my mom at home while bringing in additional support, I still had moments of doubt. But looking back, I realize that no path would have been without challenges. What mattered most was that I made the choice with love, careful thought, and faith.
After making a decision, it’s important to reflect on how it’s working. If circumstances change, you have the freedom to revisit and adjust your choice. Adaptability is one of the greatest strengths a caregiver can have. Caregiving is not a one-time decision—it’s an ongoing journey filled with learning and growth. You may need to reassess and pivot along the way, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to evolve in your choices as new information and experiences come your way.
Above all, be kind to yourself. Caregiving is full of tough choices, and no one gets everything right 100% of the time. You are doing an incredible job, and your love and dedication are what truly matter. As Tia Walker so beautifully said, “To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.”
The key takeaway from this episode is this: Making decisions as a caregiver is an act of courage and love. Trust the process, and trust yourself.
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend who might benefit from this message. Be sure to explore our other episodes for more insights and encouragement.
And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at https://bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at https://bit.ly/Get Risen.
I want to take a moment to thank you for being here and for joining me throughout this entire series. Decision-making as a caregiver is not easy, but I hope this process has given you the tools to approach it with confidence and peace. If there was a part of this series that resonated with you, I encourage you to go back and listen again. Reflect, take notes, and apply what speaks to your heart. You are not alone on this journey, and every step you take in love is a step in the right direction.
Thank you for allowing me to walk alongside you in this season. You are doing an incredible job, and I’m so proud of you. Until next time, remember: You’ve got this!
 

S2 Ep 18 - Unlocking Options How to Explore and Test the Best Caregiving Choices

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast, the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for you, the caregiver. You are in the right place at the right time.  You’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll tackle the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support. Thank you for joining us today.
Before we dive in, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. Ok, let’s get into this.
In our last episode, we laid the foundation for making thoughtful caregiving decisions by discussing the importance of understanding your heart, intuition, and the context of your situation. Today, in part three of our series, “Caregiver Decisions Unlocked: Practical Steps to Wise Choices,” we’re focusing on exploring and testing your caregiving options. This is where the groundwork we’ve established comes into play as we move toward a confident decision.
The sixth step in the decision-making process is to gather information. Take the time to seek advice, do research, and consider different perspectives. Talk to trusted friends and family members, but be mindful of their biases. For example, some people may encourage you to take a particular path because it aligns with what they would do in your shoes. I found it helpful to consult with professionals like doctors and social workers who offered insights I hadn’t considered. I also did my own research online and read caregiving books to understand the possibilities available. The more knowledge you gather, the better equipped you’ll be to make an informed choice.
The seventh step is to expand your options. Don’t limit yourself to an either/or mindset. Most decisions have more than two possibilities. For example, when I was deciding on care for my mom, I initially thought my only choices were to keep her at home or place her in a memory care facility. As I explored further, I discovered other options, such as hiring in-home caregivers or using adult daycare services. Expanding the range of choices gave me a clearer picture of what might work best for her and for me.
The eighth step is to test feasibility. If possible, try out your options or simulate them in your mind. For instance, I arranged for a caregiver to come to the house for a trial session, which gave me a sense of how in-home care could work. I also visited several memory care facilities to see their operations firsthand and understand what they could offer. These experiences helped me rule out options that weren’t a good fit and narrow my focus to the most practical and beneficial ones.
While exploring and testing options, it’s important to consider not just your loved one’s needs but your own well-being as well. Caregiving is a demanding role, and the choices you make should support your ability to provide care sustainably. When researching options, don’t hesitate to connect with support groups, both online and in-person. Hearing from other caregivers can provide valuable insights and reassurance that you’re not alone.
The key takeaway from this episode is this: Thoroughly exploring and testing options leads to more informed and confident caregiving decisions. By seeking knowledge, expanding your choices, and evaluating their feasibility, you create a path forward that aligns with your unique situation.
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend who might benefit from this message. Be sure to explore our other episodes for more insights and encouragement.
And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at https://bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at https://bit.ly/GetRisen.
Please join us tomorrow for the final episode in this series, where we’ll focus on making and owning your caregiving decisions. This last part is all about commitment, reflection, and adapting when needed. It’s the culmination of everything we’ve discussed so far, and you won’t want to miss it. Until then, remember: You’ve got this!
 

S2 Ep17 -The Caregiver’s Compass 5 Steps to Build a Strong Decision-Making Foundation

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast, the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for you, the caregiver,  who give their all to care for loved ones. Thank you for joining me today. As I always say, You are not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll tackle the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.
Before we get started today, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. With that said, let’s dive in.
In the last episode, we discussed the emotional weight of caregiving decisions. We explored the challenges of balancing love, fear, and practical realities while navigating pressure from others. Today, we’re continuing our four-part series, “Caregiver Decisions Unlocked: Practical Steps to Wise Choices,” by laying the foundation for a thoughtful decision-making process. This foundation consists of five essential steps that will help you approach tough decisions with clarity and confidence.
The first step is to check your heart. Take time to acknowledge your feelings and preferences honestly. This isn’t about making a decision based solely on emotions, but rather understanding where your heart naturally leans. I personally believe that this is the perfect time to pray and ask God for wisdom and clarity. As James 1:5 says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” When I was deciding whether to care for my mom at home or consider memory care, I started by admitting that my heart wanted to care for her myself. Acknowledging that gave me a clearer starting point to explore other options with openness.
The second step is to recognize your bias. Once you’ve identified your preference, realize how it might influence your decision-making process. We’re naturally inclined to lean toward what we want, but that can create blind spots. By acknowledging this bias, you create space to consider other options more objectively. For me, admitting my preference to keep my mom at home allowed me to prepare myself emotionally for the possibility that another option might be better.
The third step is to listen to your gut. Intuition can be a powerful tool in decision-making. It’s shaped by your experiences, observations, and the stories you’ve heard from others. However, while your gut is a valuable guide, it’s not infallible. When I was deciding on my mom’s care, my intuition strongly aligned with my desire to keep her at home, but there have been other times when my gut has provided different perspectives. Trust your instincts, but use them as one of many tools in the process.
The fourth step is to isolate the decision. Clarify exactly what you’re deciding. This might seem simple, but it’s easy for multiple concerns to overlap and cloud your thinking. In my case, the core decision was whether my mom would stay at home with me or move to a memory care facility. Isolating the decision helped me focus on evaluating options specific to that question without being overwhelmed by unrelated factors.
The fifth step is to assess timing. Ask yourself if this decision needs to be made now, or if it can wait. Sometimes we rush into decisions prematurely, or we delay when action is needed. When I was deciding on my mom’s care, it felt urgent because her behavior had become erratic, and I lacked experience with dementia care. Acting sooner rather than later gave me peace of mind and allowed me to address the situation proactively.
As you think about these steps, I encourage you to take time to reflect on a decision you’re currently facing. Write down your feelings, preferences, and concerns. Ask yourself whether you’ve acknowledged your heart, considered your biases, and clarified the core decision. Reflection is a powerful tool that can bring clarity and help you feel more confident in your choices.
The key takeaway from this episode is this: The foundation of good decision-making is understanding your heart, intuition, and the context of your decision. By grounding yourself in these steps, you set the stage for thoughtful and compassionate choices.
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend who might benefit from this message. Be sure to explore our other episodes for more insights and encouragement.
Join me tomorrow for part three of our four-part series, where we’ll dive into Exploring and Testing Your Options as a caregiver. This episode will focus on gathering valuable information, expanding beyond either/or choices, and testing the feasibility of different caregiving solutions. I’ll share personal examples of how I explored in-home care, memory care units, and adult daycare, and I’ll provide practical tips to help you make decisions that benefit both you and your loved one. Don’t miss this critical step in the decision-making process—it’s all about building confidence through thoughtful exploration. Make sure to tune in!
 
 
And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at https://bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at https://bit.ly/GetRisen.
Thank you for being here. You’re doing incredible work, and you’re not alone on this journey. Join me tomorrow, where we’ll dive into exploring and testing your options as part of the decision-making process. Until then, remember: You’ve got this!
 

S2 Ep16 - The Emotional Maze of Caregiving: Navigating the Weight of Tough Decisions

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast, the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for those who give their all to care for loved ones. I'm so glad you're here today. You’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll tackle the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.
Before we dive in, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. With that said, let’s get started.
This episode kicks off a four-part series we’re calling “Caregiver Decisions Unlocked: Practical Steps to Wise Choices.” Making decisions as a caregiver can feel like navigating a maze, with emotions, pressures, and uncertainty at every turn. Over the next four episodes, we’ll break down a thoughtful process to help you make wise and compassionate choices for your loved one and yourself.
Caregiving comes with countless decisions—some small, like what to make for dinner, and others life-altering, like determining where your loved one will live or how to handle a medical crisis. These decisions are often emotionally charged and carry an unseen weight. They can leave you questioning yourself, juggling the expectations of others, and sometimes feeling utterly alone. I know this firsthand.
Over the last decade, I’ve cared for my mom as she’s navigated dementia. The journey has been full of challenges, including making decisions that I never imagined I’d face. Along the way, I’ve discovered that decision-making in caregiving is not just about logic—it’s about balancing your heart, intuition, and practical realities. It’s about finding the courage to act even when you’re uncertain.
Let’s start by acknowledging how emotional caregiving decisions can be. For many of us, the decisions we face are tied to deep-seated values, past relationships, and our love for the person we care for. These emotions are valid—they’re what make us human—but they can also complicate the process.
When I first started caring for my mom, I was an emotional whirlwind. I wanted to honor her, protect her, and do everything in my power to ensure her happiness. At the same time, I was terrified of making the wrong choice. Maybe you’ve felt this way too—caught between love and fear.
Then there’s the pressure from others. Family members, friends, and even professionals may have opinions about what you should do. Some might mean well, while others might push their preferences onto you. It can feel overwhelming. I remember struggling with unspoken judgments about my choices—whether I was doing enough or if I was doing it "right."
But here’s the truth: no one else knows your situation like you do. Only you understand the nuances of your loved one’s needs, your family dynamics, and your resources. You’re the one living this reality, and that gives you the wisdom to make the best decisions for your circumstances.
As caregivers, we’re often hardest on ourselves. But it’s essential to give yourself grace. Decision-making is rarely clear-cut, and you’re doing the best you can with the information and tools you have. Remind yourself that caregiving isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, day after day, with love and intention.
Tia Walker, author of The Inspired Caregiver, beautifully said, “Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.” That love is what drives us to make difficult choices. It’s what carries us through.
The key takeaway from this episode is this: Caregiving decisions are emotionally charged, but by acknowledging your feelings, embracing your unique perspective, and practicing self-compassion, you can navigate these choices with clarity and courage.
If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe, and share it with a friend who might benefit from this message. Be sure to explore our other episodes for more insights and encouragement.
And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Finally, I’d love for you to grab a free copy of my book, Get Risen. It’s written by a family caregiver for caregivers, and you can get it at bit.ly/GetRisen.
Thank you for being here. You’re not alone, and you’re doing incredible work.
Please join us tomorrow where we will continue our journey of unlocking wise decision-making as a caregiver. I will be sharing the first 5 steps of a little-known process which has helped me make some wise decisions for my loved one and myself. Tomorrow's episode is about laying the foundation for good decision-making. This is a part many caregivers miss to their own detriment. This foundation has five smart and often overlooked steps in smart decision-making. Make sure you tune in.
Until then, remember: You’ve got this!
 

S2 Ep15 - Breaking the Cycle How to Prevent and Recover from Caregiver Burnout

Welcome back to the Caregiver Secrets Podcast, the show where we share practical advice, heartfelt stories, and encouragement for those who give their all to care for loved ones. I'm so glad you're here today. You’re not alone on this journey, and together, we’ll tackle the joys and challenges of caregiving with compassion and support.
In today’s episode, we’re tackling a very important issue, Caregiver Burnout. It effects many caregivers and sometimes they don’t even know they are going through it.
Before we dive in, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. With that said, let’s get started.
 
Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that can happen when caring for someone else becomes overwhelming. It’s important to recognize the signs early. These can include constant fatigue, even after resting, feeling irritable or hopeless, losing interest in activities you used to enjoy, and physical symptoms like headaches or changes in appetite. Nearly one-third of dementia caregivers experience depression, and many report spending over 40 hours a week providing care. If you’re resonating with any of this, know that burnout is not a failure—it’s a sign you need help.
Prevention starts with prioritizing your own well-being. Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Here are some tips: ask for help by reaching out to family, friends, or community resources. Many areas offer respite care services or adult daycare programs. Set boundaries by knowing your limits and communicating them clearly. It’s okay to say no or delegate tasks to others. Take care of your body by ensuring you sleep, eat nourishing meals, and get some form of exercise, even if it’s just a short walk each day. Stay connected by joining a support group or connecting with others who understand your journey. Sharing your experiences can be healing. Lean into faith and reflection with scriptures like Matthew 11:28-30, which remind us, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Let this verse be a reminder to find rest for your soul.
If you’re already feeling burned out, take a deep breath. Here’s what you can do today to begin healing: pause and acknowledge how you’re feeling without judgment. It’s okay to be tired, frustrated, or even angry. Talk to someone, whether it’s a trusted friend, therapist, or pastor, who can provide a safe space to vent and gain perspective. Take a break, even an hour of stepping away can reset your mind. Use this time to do something you love or simply rest. Reframe your thoughts and reflect on the quote, “To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” While it’s challenging, caregiving is also deeply meaningful. Seek professional support by exploring counseling, caregiver support groups, or professional caregiving services to lighten the load.
Remember, caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. Hebrews 6:10 tells us, “God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labor of love.” The care you provide is seen, valued, and deeply impactful. You are doing sacred work, and it’s okay to care for yourself in the process. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do.”
If today’s episode resonated with you, please share it with another caregiver who might need to hear these words. And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at https://bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where we share stories, tips, and encouragement. Together, we can build a village of support and make this journey a little lighter.
Until next time, take care of yourself and your loved one. You are doing incredible work, and you’re not alone. You’ve got this.
 

S2 Ep14 - From Isolation to Connection: How Caregivers Can Revive Friendships Without Adding Stress

 
Welcome to today’s episode of Caregiver Secrets, where we share practical advice, research, emotional support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones. Thanks for joining me today—I’m so glad you’re here.
In today’s episode, we’re tackling something many caregivers wrestle with: maintaining friendships and social connections when caregiving consumes your life. It’s a tough balancing act, but my hope is that by the end of this episode, you’ll feel inspired and equipped with strategies to nurture your relationships without adding extra stress to your already overflowing plate.
Before we dive in, let me remind you: this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please consult with the appropriate professionals for specific concerns. My role is to inform and support you as best I can, but the actions you take are up to you. With that said, let’s get started.
As a caregiver, you’ve probably experienced how friendships can start to fade into the background. It’s not that you don’t care about your friends—it’s that you’re constantly pulled in so many directions. Maybe you’ve canceled plans one too many times, or you feel like your friends don’t understand your new reality. Over time, this can lead to a painful sense of isolation.
But here’s the good news: friendships don’t have to disappear just because your circumstances have changed. In fact, staying connected can be one of the most powerful ways to sustain yourself emotionally. In this episode, I’ll share practical tips to help you nurture those relationships in ways that fit your life as it is now. Whether it’s embracing small, meaningful gestures, using technology to bridge gaps, or setting boundaries to protect your time and energy, we’ll explore how to keep those bonds alive and well—even during the most challenging seasons of caregiving.
First, let’s talk about why maintaining friendships is so crucial. Research shows that social connections aren’t just good for your mental health—they’re vital for your overall well-being. A strong support network can reduce feelings of loneliness, buffer you against depression, and even improve your resilience in the face of stress. For caregivers, who are already at higher risk for mental health challenges like depression and anxiety , having someone to lean on can make a world of difference.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: "I barely have time to breathe, let alone maintain friendships!" That’s a valid concern, and it’s why I want to share strategies that are realistic, not overwhelming. Sometimes, even small steps can have a big impact. For instance:
Schedule Micro-Moments: If long conversations or outings aren’t feasible, try connecting through short text exchanges or quick phone calls. A simple “I’m thinking of you” can go a long way.
Be Honest About Your Needs: Many friends want to help but don’t know how. Let them know what you’re going through and how they can support you—whether it’s running an errand, sitting with your loved one for an hour, or just listening without judgment.
Leverage Technology: Video calls, group chats, and social media can help you stay connected even when you can’t meet in person. Technology isn’t perfect, but it can be a lifeline for busy caregivers.
Join Support Groups: Consider connecting with others who understand your journey. Online or in-person support groups for caregivers can provide friendship, understanding, and practical advice.
Incorporate Scripture or Reflection: For those who draw strength from their faith, reflecting on scriptures like 1 Peter 5:7, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you," can bring comfort and renewal.
I have personally done all of these things and they do help. I am not saying they are a cure all, however, they give us buffers against the loneliness and isolation.
I want to share with you another very important point from personal experience. When you reach out to friends and family, try to balance your conversations. With so much going on in our lives as caregivers, it can be easy for us to fall on one of two extremes. Either we fill the conversation with difficult trials of care giving or we are totally silent about them. In my experience, neither way is healthy.
When you fill all the conversational space on every call or visit what the horrors of caregiving, you may find that your friends start calling less or answering your call.
However, when you don’t share anything and they know something is going on with you, this may create a distance between close friends because they feel closed out.
My suggestion is that you share what is going on with you but you also find out what is going on with your friends. They have problems too. They may say they feel selfish talking about their problems when you are obviously dealing with a much larger problem, but encourage them to share. I have found this balance has strengthened my relationships and brought me closer to my friends. It has also helped me to grow as a person.
Finally, I want to leave you with this thought from Tia Walker: "Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible". Nurturing your friendships is a way to lean into love—not just for others, but for yourself. You deserve to feel supported and connected, even as you give so much of yourself to those you care for.
Thank you for joining me today. I hope this episode has given you some encouragement and practical ideas to stay connected with the people who matter most. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Until next time, take care of yourself, and keep uncovering the secrets to thriving as a caregiver. You’ve got this!
 

S2 Ep 13 - Caregiving Lessons from Nature: What Animals Can Teach Us About Patience and Love

Welcome to today’s episode of Caregiver Secrets, where we share practical advice, research, emotional support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones. Thanks for joining me today, and I’m so glad you’re here. Today, we’re diving into a fascinating and inspiring topic: Caregiving Lessons from Nature: What Animals Can Teach Us About Patience and Love.
As always, please remember that this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please seek out a proper professional for any matter you’re dealing with. My goal is to inform you as best I can, but you and you alone are responsible for doing your own research and taking the appropriate action.
Have you ever watched animals care for one another? It’s remarkable how much they teach us about caregiving, often without words. From the gentleness of a bird feeding its young to the fierce protection of a lioness defending her cubs, nature offers a masterclass in patience, resilience, and unconditional love. Today, we’ll explore some of those lessons and how they can inspire us in our own caregiving journeys.
Let me start with a story about elephants. In the wild, elephants are known for their strong familial bonds. When a young elephant is orphaned, other elephants in the herd step in to care for it, sharing responsibilities like protection, guidance, and even play. It’s a beautiful reminder that caregiving is rarely a solo act—it’s a communal effort. As caregivers, we can take a page from the elephants’ book and lean on our herd, whether that’s family, friends, or a support network. You don’t have to do this alone, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s the way nature intended.
Now consider penguins. Male emperor penguins balance their eggs on their feet for months, keeping them warm through brutal Antarctic winters while the females hunt for food. They endure the cold, huddled together for warmth, taking turns on the outer edges of the group. It’s a powerful metaphor for patience and endurance. Sometimes caregiving feels like standing in a storm, but like the penguins, we find strength in community and purpose.
Another incredible example comes from bees. Worker bees tirelessly care for the hive, feeding larvae, cleaning, and even regulating temperature. Each bee knows its role and trusts the others to do theirs. This teaches us about trust and delegation. You don’t have to do everything yourself. Sharing responsibilities doesn’t diminish your love or commitment—it strengthens your caregiving.
Then there’s the orangutan, whose caregiving is deeply personal and tender. Mother orangutans nurse their young for up to eight years, teaching them how to climb, forage, and survive. They do this with infinite patience, repeating lessons until their young are ready. It’s a reminder that caregiving is a journey, not a destination. Progress may be slow, but every small victory is a step forward.
Nature also shows us how to take care of ourselves while caring for others. Think of the hummingbird, which expends incredible energy while flying but takes frequent, intentional breaks to rest and refuel. As caregivers, we often forget to pause, to nourish ourselves, to recharge. But self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. A burnt-out caregiver can’t give their best. Like the hummingbird, we need to rest to keep going.
What’s fascinating about these animal behaviors is that they’re instinctive. They remind us that caregiving, at its core, is natural. It’s about love, protection, and ensuring the well-being of those we care for. But while animals act on instinct, we have the gift of reflection and choice. We can learn from nature’s lessons and apply them with intention, adapting them to our unique situations.
As we reflect on these lessons, let’s take a moment to appreciate the work we’re doing as caregivers. Like the elephants, you’re providing safety and guidance. Like the penguins, you’re weathering the storms with courage. Like the bees, you’re doing your part to nurture and sustain life. And like the orangutans, you’re teaching, loving, and showing up every day. That is extraordinary.
In Get Risen, I wrote an affirmation that feels fitting here: “I am Godly aligned and living in the Divine.” Let that truth ground you as you continue on this journey. You are doing something natural, beautiful, and life-giving, even on the hard days.
If today’s episode resonated with you, I encourage you to take a moment to look at nature this week. Watch the birds, notice the bees, or even read about animals and their caregiving instincts. Let their example inspire you and remind you that you’re part of something much bigger.
If this episode was helpful, please share it with another caregiver who might need some encouragement today. And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at https://bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where you can connect with others, share your stories, and find support.
Until next time, take care of yourself and your loved one. You are part of a great and natural legacy of care, and you are not alone. You’ve got this.
 

S2 Ep 12 - The Joy of Imperfection_ Redefining Success in Caregiving

Welcome to today’s episode of Caregiver Secrets, where we share practical advice, research, emotional support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones. Thanks for joining me today, and I’m so glad you’re here. Today, we’re diving into a powerful and freeing topic: The Joy of Imperfection: Redefining Success in Caregiving.
Also, please remember that this is not medical, financial, or health advice. Please seek out a proper professional for any matter you’re dealing with. My goal is to inform you as best I can, but you and you alone are responsible for doing your own research and taking the appropriate action.
Let me ask you this: when was the last time you allowed yourself to be imperfect? Caregiving is one of those roles that seems to demand perfection at every turn. The perfect meal plan, the perfect schedule, the perfect reaction to every unpredictable moment. But here’s the truth: perfection isn’t the goal. In fact, striving for it might be the very thing keeping you from thriving as a caregiver.
Imagine a caregiver named Julie. She’s spent weeks trying to juggle everything—doctors’ appointments, her dad’s favorite meals, and keeping the house spotless. One day, her dad refuses to eat the lunch she made because he insists it’s breakfast time. Frustrated, she snaps, “It’s lunchtime, Dad!” He looks hurt, and she immediately feels the wave of guilt. “If only I had more patience,” she thinks, “I wouldn’t have snapped. I’m failing at this.”
Sound familiar? That relentless self-criticism is something many caregivers live with every day. But let me tell you something Julie didn’t know: imperfection is not failure. It’s part of the journey. The idea that you have to get everything right all the time is a myth—a heavy, unnecessary weight that you don’t have to carry.
Caregiving isn’t about doing everything perfectly; it’s about doing the best you can with the resources you have in each moment. Success isn’t measured by spotless kitchens or flawless interactions—it’s measured by love, intention, and the courage to keep showing up.
So how do we redefine success? Let’s start with your mindset. Instead of asking, “What did I do wrong today?” ask, “What did I do right?” Even if it’s something small, like making your loved one smile or finding five minutes to sit and breathe, those moments matter. They are the building blocks of meaningful caregiving.
Here’s a secret: your loved one doesn’t need perfection—they need presence. They need your compassion, your effort, and your heart. The little mistakes along the way? They’re just that—little. The big picture is what counts.
Let’s talk about practical steps to embrace imperfection. First, let go of the guilt that comes with setting boundaries. Saying no to one thing allows you to say yes to something else—like your own mental health. For example, if you need a break but feel guilty about asking a sibling to step in, remind yourself that taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your loved one. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Second, learn to laugh at the chaos. Humor is one of the best tools in your caregiving toolkit. Spilled food, forgotten appointments, mismatched socks—sometimes, all you can do is laugh. Not only does laughter relieve stress, but it also reminds you that perfection is overrated.
Third, embrace what I call “good enough caregiving.” This doesn’t mean settling for less; it means recognizing that what you’re doing is already more than enough. Did the laundry pile up this week? Did you skip a perfectly balanced meal for something quick? That’s okay. Your worth as a caregiver isn’t measured by checklists—it’s measured by your heart.
One of my favorite affirmations from Get Risen is: “I am more than my mistakes, and I am growing every day.” Caregiving isn’t about achieving a grade—it’s about progress, learning, and grace. Mistakes don’t make you less of a caregiver. They make you human.
Let’s return to Julie’s story. After she snapped at her dad, she apologized. She sat down beside him and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound frustrated.” He smiled, and they moved on. That moment wasn’t perfect, but it was real. And that’s what caregiving is—showing up, repairing what needs mending, and moving forward with love.
If you’re feeling weighed down by the pressure to be perfect, let this be your permission to release it. You are doing enough. You are enough. Take a breath, let go of the impossible standards, and focus on the moments of joy, connection, and growth that make this journey worthwhile.
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another caregiver who might need these words. And don’t forget to join our Facebook community at https://bit.ly/CaregiverSecretsOnFacebook, where you’ll find encouragement, support, and stories from caregivers just like you.
Until next time, dear caregiver, be kind to yourself. You are doing extraordinary work, and you are making a difference every single day—even in your imperfection. You’ve got this.